Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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