Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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