Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
