i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The air taste purple.
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