I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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