we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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