so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
