It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Oh god it's open bar.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
