I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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