Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
