there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
