i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
