trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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