my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
