Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
