real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
