if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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