please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
