She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
