So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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