On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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