i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
