she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
