Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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