We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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