I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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