$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
