Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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