Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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