and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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