her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
