sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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