How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize