We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
