I faked an abortion last night.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Pooping to opera.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize