I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
