She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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