If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
