Fuck appropriateness.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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