Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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