I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
