I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
