so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think I won the penis lottery.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
