Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
