I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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