I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
