my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
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