You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize