mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
