So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
