That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
