bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
