What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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