Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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