Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This baby is an asshole
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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