I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
