i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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