does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
