I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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