Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
