We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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