Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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