Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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