i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
