I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
