If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
