I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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