Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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