he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
