if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
