OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The chlamydia really affected his face.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
